Wadin Tohangu Returns

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Wadin Tohangu has been in my thoughts these past few days — at first just a tickle of awareness, an overlay to thought. Then stronger, a gesture on his part for me to pay attention, a longing on my part to offer that readiness.

In the past a listening heart usually opened the way for him.  Give my opinions and distractions a rest, and always something more worthwhile would fill the space they occupied.  A poem, an idea for a blog-post, a phone call I needed to make or take, a chance conversation with a homesick student no one else notices, a shaft of sunlight or spectacular cloud at the moment I look out the window.  The attention that draws Wadin is simple but not easy.  Especially not today.  Why not? I ask myself.  I’m out of practice, for one thing.  I mull over the past few weeks.  Money is tight, and old medical bills, though we bring the balance down each month, still require that monthly check.  We’ve just managed to pay municipal property taxes, and now the Ides of April loom, tax day part two, on the 15th.  (We have as little taken out of the paycheck as possible, on the theory that it’s easier to pay later on our terms, rather than to try getting a refund on the government’s.  We’re still, you might say, optimizing the theory.) Add to that some education expenses for my wife, plumbing repairs after basement pipes froze … the list goes on, one version or another all too familiar to many of us.

But through it all, things to celebrate as well.  Yes, there will be balance.   Birds back, singing. A few passing on the way north, offering unfamiliar snatches of melody on their layover.  Daffodils pushing up pale and uncertain, the first wasps and flies buzzing around rather forlornly, that indefinable slant of light and the scent of earth that signal spring, whatever the thermometer shows.  Longer days.  A sky that says forever is still here, starting right beyond my skin.

Wadin Tohangu is companion to my thoughts again.  What will he say to me this time?  What do I need to hear?

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Updated 23 April 2015

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